One of my favorite things about Christmas time is the music. Especially that music which uplifts, warms the heart, and focuses the mind of the Spirit of Christmas– peace on earth, good will toward men, brotherly love, and so on and so forth.
However, I expressly avoid the radio during the months of November and December, and that is because there is a deluge of crap labeled as “Christmas music” out there. Some of the songs are disgusting perversions of *good* Christmas music, either stylistically altered to the point of bearing little to no resemblance to the original, or perhaps so performed in such an overdone way as to detract from the spirit of the original and focus the song instead on the artist performing it. (Not to say there aren’t some poppy renditions of songs that I love– some classics include Jars of Clay’s “Little Drummer Boy” or perhaps Sarah McLachlan and the Bare Naked Ladies doing “We Three Kings”… awesome stuff. They’re done in a way that you still appreciate them as the classic Christmas tunes that they are.)
And then there’s the crap that isn’t based on Christmas at all. “Last Christmas” is the source of my rant today. I never really thought about the song until this year, but just considering the lyrics… I can’t help but laugh at how it makes no sense, in addition to having really nothing to do with Christmas. Here we go…
“Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away…”
Ok, first of all… if we’re speaking metaphorically of giving one’s own heart to someone they love… I’m having a hard time understanding the metaphor of that person giving it away to someone else. It just doesn’t work for me. Now, I understand the metaphors of breaking, stabbing, smashing, stomping on and ripping to pieces someone’s heart. But giving it away? Who can they give it to? Seems more likely they’d simply discard it in the trash or return it to the sender (if they’re really thoughtful)– these make much more sense as forms of rejection.
“This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special…”
Ugh. As if you’re THAT much smarter this year. You probably thought you were giving your heart to someone special LAST year. Be prepared for more tears, my friend.
Also, what does this song *really* have to do with Christmas? I mean, it tells us WHEN it happened… but there just isn’t anything festive about it. No mention of Christ, His mission, or any of the principles he taught us to live. Disgraceful.
“Once bitten and twice shyed
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me
Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying ‘I love you’, I meant it
Now I know what a fool I’ve been
But if you kiss me now, I know you’d fool me again…”
Hahaha. Yeah, not so smart. A year later and you’re still pining for the same jerk. By the way, how are you giving it to someone special if they gave it away? Did it make its way back to you somehow? Also, I have a hard time believing that, since you’re still stuck on this person who rejected you a long time ago, that you’re really in any shape to be open to someone else special this year. I’ll tell ya what you need this year…
It’s too bad people listen to this junk masquerading as “Christmas Music”. That’s not to say that artists don’t create *good* new Christmas music from time to time, but this… this is the epitome of lame. The music stinks, the lyrics are moronic, and it’s devoid of any Christmas spirit.
P.S. I’ve given little thought or focus to this subject, I’m not that bitter. But I did find it amusing enough to jot down and post, hehe. Perhaps I need to do a post following this to showcase some more uplifting Christmas music.
Comments
12 responses to “Last Christmas (music rant)”
hehehe.. are you being serious? what does jingle bells have to do with Christ’s mission? although I’ve always wondered why she would give MY heart to someone else.. i mean, i just can’t get my brain around that…
“Be prepared for more tears, my friend.” lol – that was a fun read.
Seriously, though, maybe you should watch the music video and it will clear some things up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZhoF9Isf0o
I can’t say I’ve ever listened closely to that song, but I will say I prefer it over a lot of the Christmas music on the radio. I think it’s just catchy and repetitive enough to be likable without going into the territory of “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses. Now there’s a song I don’t need to hear again. Yikes.
For what it’s worth, my favorite Christmas tunes include the stuff by Bing Crosby (especially “mele kalikimaka”), The Drifter’s version of white christmas, Phil Spector’s christmas album, the charlie brown christmas, Christmas with the Rat Pack, “rocking around the christmas tree,” Mariah Carey’s christmas album, and even the Christmas album by the Carpenters. Poor taste? I don’t know – but that’s the stuff that makes me think it’s Christmas.
Josh,
Don’t even compare the 2, haha. While Jingle Bells isn’t a favorite of mine, a) it’s not painfully annoying to listen to music-wise (personal opinion, I suppose), b) it’s upbeat, and c) technically it doesn’t even mention Christmas, ie it’s not pretending to be a Christmas song. We have just come to associate the two over the years.
Ty,
I watched part of the music video earlier as I was writing this post to make sure the lyrics I had were correct… all I can say is “painful”, haha. I don’t know if I can suffer through the whole thing…
As for the rest of your selections… I recognize most of them, and the only one I don’t love is the Mariah Carey one– but I understand if that one is nostalgic. A lot of the albums we enjoy are ones we grew up on, and so there’s more to it than just music, there’s memories and feelings of Christmases past that they evoke. (I think Mariah might be one of the ones I was thinking of with regards to “overdoing it” 😉 ). Take for example “Alabama Christmas”. Normally I could be fine never touching a single country album, but we grew up with my dad playing that cd at Christmas time, so it’s less of a country album to me and more of a nostalgic Christmas album 🙂
It’s Wham. Can you really expect much?
Oh c’mon Mikie! Coming from someone who has been dumped right after Christmas I can tell you exactly what this song is about… but I’m not going to. Unfortunately it’s something you have to go through yourself to really understand. And I’ll be honest, they very next Christmas I gave my heart away for good, to Matt. Couz! I’m with Jesse, you are putting WAY too much thought into Wham.
I too disagree with ya Mike. while this song is by no means awesome, it does a good job of being catchy. There are a couple of rendtions that I actually enjoy. It’s obviously something you don’t understand so you don’t like. I’m not saying I understand, but I can at least appreciate the probability of such things happening. be serious, most people are suckers.
In the end, like it or not, the song is here to stay, so you best to get used to it.
So Cass– who did they give your heart to? The point is not about break-ups, it’s about how STUPID the lyrics are. They don’t make any sense. You’ve inserted your own meaning based on your own experience… but I’m just nitpicking as an example how this music has nothing to do with Christmas. This song is just a representation– my beef is not with a single song 😉
Steve– nothing to do with understanding, everything to the lyrics being dumb. The meaning could have been conveyed with better lyrics, and above all it’s that it’s a unintelligent break-up song and not a Christmas song. And granted there are renditions that don’t grate on my nerves like an annoying 80s song… but you obviously are never going to put the Wham version on your mp3 player, are you? 😉 Your last comment leads me to believe that the comments I made about amusement and not giving it much thought weren’t clear enough to communicate that the only intent I really had here was to mock for amusement’s sake 😉 You have to give me more credit than to think that I believe complaining about something stands any chance of changing things or making them better, it’s completely opposite of my philosophy. No, it’s just cheap, crappy “making fun at the expense of something” humor. 😉
And in any case– obviously the humor of this post was lost on some people. Guess there’s nothin’ I can do about that, everyone brings a different set of experiences and ideas and attitudes to the table. But once I read the lyrics to the song… I found it to be pretty good fodder for making fun 😉
So it’s a protestacular? I very much would like to participate in your prostaticular.
HAHAHAHAHA WOW. Just, Wow. Um Mikie, I have one thing to disagree with you on– That music video was FAN-TAST-TIC!!! I’m still laughing.
But other than taht I’m going to have to side with Mikie on this one guys. That song is at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to Christmas music. I change it when it comes on. And I hate that it gets stuck in my head like that old “I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves” song… ugh. In my opionion it’s teetering on the line between catchy and obnoxious.
Besides, who wants to be reminded of an old breakup at christmas time? That’s what this song is about. Getting dumped. Watch the music video and see how pathetic and sad he is. Is that what Christmas is about?? Eeee-Yikes. Bring on the good stuff.
Perfect rant, Mikie. Amen. That is one of the more stupid songs out there that gets played over and over and over every Christmas! I did have that thought cross my mind about a month ago as I was listening to it, “What does this have to do with Christmas, anyway?” Well said!
I love it! I totally agree here. WHole heartedly. And what’s weird is in Germany (I’ve been there for 2 Christmas seasons now) they totally LOVE that George Michael song! It is really a stupid song. I heard it like a hundred times a day. They played AMERICAN songs in the old fashioned, traditional German Christmas Markets. And they were all the “pop” songs…rudolph, frosty, Jorge (George)…weird! I was aching to hear some silver bells, oh tanumbaum, silent night…but nO!
Really, Mikie, I LOVE reading your blog! How do you do it? I hope you’re doing some professional writing and getting paid for your pure wit and intelligence.